


The Morning After the Night We Did It

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, Banter, F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-22
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-03-02 18:51:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2822492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I need to freshen up a bit.  My breath smells like microwaved Alpo.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Morning After the Night We Did It

**Author's Note:**

> I was literally sitting on Tumblr scrolling and Erin Strauss jumped into my head. I rushed to open a Word document because something in my gut told me it was going to be good. It's mostly AUs these days as I no longer watch the show and all my favorite female characters are gone, but I am still so happy when the ones I love start talking.
> 
> Also, since I wanted resurrectionofannabellee to speak to me again I had to finish this : )

She felt something heavy jump on the bed. Then it barked. She turned over as it barked again. Erin looked at it and screamed. She didn’t have a dog. Looking around the room, she screamed again. 

This was not her bedroom. She threw off the comforter, jumped out of the bed, and went to run. Tripping over her own feet, she fell chest first into the rug. That’s when Erin realized that she wasn’t wearing a bra. She whimpered as the pain went through her bare breasts like ripples of electricity. Groaning, she turned over on her back and covered her nudity with her forearm. 

“Fuck me.” She whispered and closed her eyes. “Help.”

Sighing, she opened her eyes again. A man, slightly familiar, was standing over her. Erin could tell he was trying not to laugh but having a horrible time of it.

“I'm just going to say morning because I'm thinking it’s not quite good.”

“I have to get up off the floor.”

“Need a hand?” He held out one of his.

“Oh right, so you can get a cheap look. Think again Mister.”

“Erin, you woke up in my bed. I already got the VIP, back of the club view.”

“Oh fuck me.” She closed her eyes and covered them with her other hand.

“For lack of a better term, yes. Twice.” He held up two fingers.

“You son of a bitch.”

“I'm the son of a landscaper actually but I’ll let it slide.” Dave grinned. “C'mon, I’ll help you up. Do you want a tee shirt or something?”

“That would be nice.”

Dave lifted the Chicago Cubs tee shirt over his head and handed it to her. Erin rolled her eyes.

“Turn around.” She said.

“Are you…?”

“Yes, I'm serious…turn around!”

He grumbled, crossing his arms, but did as she asked. Erin sat up slowly because the room was spinning a bit. She put on the shirt, involuntarily inhaling the scent of him. He smelled like Acqua di Gio and perhaps bacon.

“Alright; now you can help me up.”

Turning back around, Dave offered her a hand. As soon as Erin was on her feet she took her hand out of his and stumbled back to his bed. Why was it so high off the damn ground? And how come she had no idea that he had a dog? She held up her hand as if she could stop her mind was racing.

“Don’t say a word.” She said.

“Are you talking to me or yourself?” Dave asked. He wanted to sit down next to her but she might pop off at any minute. Dave only liked to be smacked around when it was beneficial to both parties. He went over to the drawer to get a shirt instead.

“I'm not entirely sure at the moment. Your dog scared the hell out of me, David. I think he shaved three to five years off of my life.”

“Mudgie’s a barker. I need to apologize about that. He wasn’t pleased for being kicked out last night so he exacted revenge.”

She hadn’t even heard what he just said. Erin put her head in her hands. She was trying to make sense of what happened last night. The best way to do that was to actually remember. She had a martini; she remembered that. 

She sang Laura Branigan at karaoke. Jesus, she would surely never live that down. There was a possibility of bumping and grinding with someone. She thought she might have been in an SUV. Was there mistletoe? That seemed improbable since it was March.

“Jason was the designated driver.” Erin murmured. “He drew the short straw.”

“Yeah.” Dave nodded. “Can I sit down?”

“It’s your bed.”

“I know but…” he sighed and sat down beside her. “I'm sorry about what happened last night.”

“What do you have to be sorry about?” Erin asked. “You got the back of the club view, remember?”

“I'm thinking you were a lot drunker than I thought you were. I wasn’t sober either Erin but I had no idea you were black out, can't remember shit drunk. I hope you know that I would never take advantage of you like that.”

“Did I consent?”

“Yes, I wouldn’t have done a damn thing without your consent.”

“Did anything go in my butt?”

“What the…?”

“Answer the question David.” She looked at him.

“No. The answer is no. You gonna tell me a story about the origin of that question one day?”

“Not likely. You know what, its fine; we’re both adults and we can handle this. I think I might handle it better with a cup of coffee but I can handle this. Please tell me that you have coffee.”

“What kind of Italian do you take me for? Do you want me to bring you a cup or have some in the kitchen?”

“I need to freshen up a bit. My breath smells like microwaved Alpo.” Erin stuck her tongue out. It had that gross morning coating on it with extra tequila shots for good measure.

“I have extra toothbrushes in the bathroom.” Dave stood up from the bed. “You can meet me downstairs in the kitchen. Do you remember where it is?”

“Probably not.” She shook her head. “Can you take your friend with you please?”

“I think he likes you.”

“I’ll take your word for it.”

“C'mon Mudge.” Dave whistled.

Erin got a mouthful of dog tail as he jumped off the bed and followed his master. When she was sure Dave was gone, she fell over on the bed. That just made her head ring more. She needed to get a clearer picture of everything that happened last night. All this time she’d been fantasizing about fucking David Rossi and when she finally got her chance, Erin didn’t even remember. That was totally unacceptable. 

And Jason would have to give her some answers too. He was supposed to be cock blocking. Yes, Dave was his best friend but Erin made him promise. It would never work out for the two of them and the last thing she needed was to let her lust turn into anything more. Everyone failed at their jobs last night. It was only fair to blame the one who was the most sober. Jason Gideon it was.

***

Erin was happy to see her purse on the kitchen table, beside an empty wine glass. She definitely didn’t remember drinking wine. Ignoring her overwhelming thoughts, she reached into her bag and rustled around until she found the sterling silver cigarette case. Her initials, ECS, were engraved into it. That case was one of the few things that survived her divorce. There was no reason to let her thoughts wander to Eli…she was in enough trouble as it was.

“I hope you don’t mind.” She held up the case and lighter as she walked over to the island. Dave had already sat out all the makings of a perfect cup of coffee. Erin was happy to see that her mug was huge. That meant that she’d probably only need two cups to return to the land of the living. The Excedrin beside it would also help.

“I’ll open the patio door.”

Dave slid the door open about a third. It was a chilly start to the weekend and it was also raining. He went over to the counter beside the stove and turned down Frank Sinatra. He didn’t know how hung over Erin was; maybe she didn’t care to hear the Chairman of the Board crooning. Dave loved Italian singers. 

He loved Frank, Dean, Mario Lanza, and Tony Bennett. Even though she wasn’t Italian, Dave couldn’t get enough of Rosemary Clooney. There was other music that he listened to as well. Simon and Garfunkel had their time. 

He knew when the Spector Wall of Sound was the only thing to fit his mood. There was always room for Anita Baker or CCR. But no matter what the mood, feeling, or time of day, the Italian singers always worked for him. He grew up with the music and it never failed to take him home in his heart.

“I like your bathroom.” Erin said as she lit her cigarette. She added another sugar cube to her coffee. The caramel creamer was sweet but she needed an extra kick.

“I remodeled it a few years back. For as much as it cost me it had better come with compliments.”

She nodded and put on a smile. The awkward silence came next and Erin hated it. While she would never say that Dave and she were friends, they had managed to maintain a cordial relationship. It was smattered with fights about politics, books, crime, and even Socialism. 

That’s one of the things she loved the most. David Rossi had been her sparring partner for nearly five years. When they were alone, Jason always called it foreplay. It wasn’t that but it was something. Erin hoped it wasn’t ruined now.

“I hope this doesn’t alter our friendship in a negative way.” Dave said.

“We've never really been friends, David.” She took a deep inhale of her cigarette.

“I thought we were. But I will be the first to admit I know so much and so little about women. How about this, I hope this doesn’t alter our magnificent arguments in a negative way.”

“So do I.”

“Do you want me to tell you what happened last night?” he asked.

“I want you to make me breakfast. I can literally hear this coffee hitting the bottom of my stomach and it’s quite an unpleasant sound. I'm starving.”

“How does steak and eggs sound?”

“Seriously?”

“I've got filet mignon in the fridge.” Dave replied. “I'm sure I have eggs.”

“I love you.” Erin put her cigarette and coffee cup down. She leaned over the kitchen island and reached out for him. “It sounds fantastic.”

“You can pour yourself some more coffee and relax in the den while I cook.”

“Where’s the dog?” she asked.

“He's in the den but I put in his duck video so Mudgie won't be paying you much mind.”

“Do I want to know what his duck video is?” Erin was pouring more coffee.

“Think Retriever porn.”

“No, I’d rather not do that at all.”

***

“I think that’s nice.” Erin shifted her weight a bit and sighed. “Mmm, that’s really nice. That’s…ohhh God, David.”

Dave looked up from between her thighs with his Cheshire cat grin. He didn’t have that much time to enjoy it; Erin was pushing him down again. The morning started with the shock of her life and it was likely to end with a bang. She was taking her breakfast with a side of orgasm. It started innocently enough, as these things usually do...

“ _I've always wondered something.” Erin was sad to see that her breakfast was almost gone. It was seriously one of the best things she’d ever eaten._

_“What's that?”_

_“Am I a good kisser? I mean, how do you know these kinds of things? You just do it one way or another all your life and no one says anything. It shouldn’t be a secret; people ought to know.”_

_“You're a good kisser.” Dave nodded._

_“Did you enjoy kissing me?”_

_“Yeah Erin, I did.”_

_“I probably enjoyed kissing you.” she said in a confident tone._

_“I don’t want to brag but you thought I was awesome.”_

_“Oh yeah right.” Erin reached out and slapped his chest. “I have very little evidence to back up that statement.”_

_“No seriously, it was all ooh Dave, ahhh Dave, and so on.”_

_“I've never called you Dave. You're embellishing.”_

_“I guess you were so turned on that you just couldn’t help yourself.”_

_“Shut up.”_

_“Make me_.”

And that was how Erin Strauss, distinguished political scientist, ending up on a couch with a retired FBI Agent, writer, and Criminal Justice professor’s face between her thighs. She gripped David’s thick, black hair. Her toes were tingling, her thighs were quivering, and she couldn’t help but call out his name with her climax.

“I told you that you were a good kisser.” Dave smiled as he scaled her body. He kissed her deeply, passionately. He moaned when Erin gripped the back of his tee shirt. For just a moment he rested his body on hers. Dave began to kiss and suck her neck. His pajama pants rubbed against Erin’s most sensitive skin. She shivered when a couple of aftershocks flowed through her. “You wanna go all the way, baby?”

Oh God yes, Erin’s mind screamed. She wanted to go all the way and then some. That was just foreplay; she was sure of that. That was just an appetizer before an oh so filling entrée. If he called her baby again Erin was sure that she would crumble to pieces. 

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into another kiss. His lips and tongue tasted strongly of her. Erin could hardly get enough of it. With reluctance, she pulled away and shook her head.

“We've gotten ourselves in enough trouble for a little while I think.”

“I'm just going to put it out there that I am capable of much more trouble.” Dave said. “Do with that information what you want.”

“This time it’s my fault. Its 100% my fault and I accept full responsibility. I should probably go.” Erin sat up some as Dave moved into a sitting position. “I need to get dressed and…”

“You can wear my clothes home.” Dave said.

“I'm wearing a tee shirt and boxer shorts, David.”

“I promised to get your dress cleaned. You spilled wine on it last night.”

“Fuck.” Erin rolled her eyes.

“I’ll take you home.” Dave said.

“I'm not drunk anymore.”

“I know, but you also don’t have a car. Jason picked you up from your condo, remember?”

“Right. Just let me get my purse.” Erin walked toward the kitchen. “Also, remind me to kill Jason when I get the chance. Sooner rather than later, OK?”

“You got it.” He gave her the thumbs up.

He watched her walk out of the room. Hot damn, the woman was gorgeous. She was smart and wickedly funny. Erin Strauss had no problem with putting people in their place when they deserved it. Dave wasn’t sure if he should even bother hoping that their relationship would reach another level after this. 

He wouldn’t even be mad if she continued to use him for casual sex. He just wanted her to come back. Last night was awesome; this morning amazing. Who wouldn’t want to do that again and again? Dave had a thing for Erin…it was one of the University’s worst kept secrets. Most of their friends thought they were up to a little something something but couldn’t articulate what.

“What are you thinking about?” Erin came from out of the kitchen. She never broke her stride, heading for the door as she asked. “You have the strangest look on your face.”

She didn’t even give him much chance to answer. Erin had to get out of there before she ended up in another compromising position. At home she would relax and try to figure out what the hell had happened. Once she knew then she could go about fixing it. 

Erin had always been a problem solver; she didn’t want whatever went on with her and David Rossi to become a problem. They were adults and sometimes adults did spontaneous, crazy things. They didn’t need to let it change them or affect their relationship. All Erin had to do was decide what kind of relationship this was in the first place and what it was going to be as of now.

***


End file.
